Monday, July 21, 2014

I Am Be Anguirus Now

I wonder if Anguirus is a Dethklok fan. I can totally see him and Godzilla watching Metalocalypse on Monster Island.

The juxtaposition of the quotes from Robert Oppenheimer and Dethklok's "Face Fisted" is profound, no?

Since this blog is so often devoted to crossovers between Godzilla and Batman, here is the video to "Batmetal," which I have to say makes the best possible use of "Face Fisted."

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Batman: Countdown to Midlife Crisis?

Something for Throwback Thursday: a news article I wrote back in 2007, the year of DC Comics' Infinite Crisis:


The story behind Batman's recent erratic behavior

GOTHAM CITY, August 10, 2007 -- Batman, once believed to be an urban legend concocted by the cowardly and superstitious criminals of Gotham, has been getting plenty of publicity lately, causing some to speculate that the Dark Knight Detective has something to prove. Usually only glimpsed among the ranks of the Justice League whenever the world needs saving, Batman has been making an increasing number of televised solo appearances around the country in order to compete in a variety of sports venues.

Obsessively pitting himself against the world's champion athletes, Batman has engaged in everything from fighting in pay-per-view boxing matches to racing the Batmobile in NASCAR tournaments.

Batman has challenged Mike Tyson to a rematch, attributing his recent defeat to a lack of prep time.

Gotham Globe reporter Vicki Vale was determined to uncover the root cause of Batman's odd behavior, but neither Batman nor his associates in the Justice League were willing to discuss the matter. Everyone Vale spoke to seemed determined to look the other way and pretend the situation was completely normal.

"It says here Batman has a contingency plan for eliminating every member of the Justice League should the need ever arise. I wonder if there's a connection."
Vale's big break finally came when she was approached by a visitor from a parallel universe, calling himself the Batman of Earth-2, who had traveled to our dimension to warn us of an imminent crisis. He granted Vale an interview, during which he made startling accusations against the Justice League.

The Batman of Earth-2 delivers a dire warning about the fate of the multiverse.

"Batman has always been a source of embarrassment for the League," explained Earth-2 Batman. "His obsessive nature always leads to certain... excesses, which must be reined in. Therefore, in an effort to make him more presentable to the public, the Justice League periodically mindwipes Batman and gives him an image makeover."

It's hard to imagine why they would have had an issue with THIS look.

Pressed for details, Earth-2 Batman revealed the ability of League member Zatanna to magically erase parts of a person's memory.

Artist's conception of the alleged crime.

"Over the years, the League has erased Batman's memories of his Aunt Harriet, Batmite, Ace the Bathound, his relationship with Batwoman, his gun-toting days, and the Batusi disco dance, along with numerous other Bat-items they considered 'too silly.' This summer they were at it again, and wiped out his memories of the Bat credit card, the neon Batmobile, the Bat-codpiece, the nipples on the Batsuit, and everything else they considered 'too gay.' (Not that there's anything wrong with that). The results are always the same: the mindwipe works for a short period of time, then causes him to freak out even more as the continuous meddling with his brain makes him increasingly schizophrenic. This will not end well."

Vicki Vale finally had to bring the interview to a close when the Batman of Earth-2 began to describe in excruciating detail the multidimensional apocalypse that would result from Batman discovering he had been repeatedly mindwiped by the Justice League.

"Things will get really bad," he insisted. "We are facing a crisis of infinite proportions!" At that point, Vale had security escort the harbinger of doom from the building.

Batman, upon hearing of his Earth-2 counterpart's wild claims, dismissed the idea that he has suffered any brain damage as a result of the League's alleged tampering.

Seriously, does this look like a man with mental problems to you?

Furthermore, he believes the criticism and speculation resulting from his sports-related activities are evidence of the double standard that exists among League members.

"No one ever gave Superman any crap about fighting Muhammad Ali, or his obsession with beating the Flash in a footrace," said Batman. "And if we're going to talk about mindwiping, let's start with whatever happened to his Legion of Super-Pets."

You'd think the "Man of Steel" could take a punch.

The Muhammad Ali vs. Superman Commemorative Statue, now available on eBay.

Monday, August 12, 2013

"Tread Lightly"

More fun with the Heisenberg action figure.

Breaking Bad/Agents of SHIELD crossover:

Breaking Bad/Walking Dead:

Don't miss Heisenberg's crossovers with Godzilla and Batman '66 from yesterday: "I Am The One Who Knocks"

Saturday, August 10, 2013

"I Am The One Who Knocks!"

Spent the day playing with action figures. Obviously I'm looking forward to the return of Breaking Bad tomorrow night!

I think Godzilla's new origin is tied to an exploding meth lab in Albuquerque.

 Moments later, Jesse Pinkman opened the other window. "Biff Bang Pow, Bitch!"
Can the Dynamic Duo escape from Pinkman's diabolical deathtrap, or will they be plunged into the bathtub of hydrofluoric acid? Tune in next week! Same Bat-Time, Same Bat-Channel!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

The New Adventures of Batman & Godzilla

Naturally, the popularity of the Batman vs. Godzilla movie starring Adam West would have spawned a Saturday morning cartoon and the inevitable remake...

In Hanna-Barbera's The New Adventures of Batman & Godzilla, the Caped Crusader teams up with Big G to protect Gotham City from its most notorious arch-villains. With Godzilla as backup, Batman soon discovers that the Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Mr. Freeze, and the rest are all, literally, toast. 

But while you would think that being able to summon Godzilla to stomp on any costumed fiends (plus their henchman, their hideout, and the surrounding area) would put Batman, Robin, and Batgirl on Easy Street (a difficult neighborhood to find in a town like Gotham), the annoying sidekick double-team of Bat-Mite and Godzooky raises their stress levels through the roof until finally they are all diagnosed with PTSDS (Post-Traumatic Scrappy-Doo Syndrome) and confined to Arkham Asylum.

In Christopher Nolan's Batman vs. Godzilla remake, the Dark Knight is forced out of retirement one last time when the League of Shadows makes a final attempt to destroy Gotham City using a mind-controlled King of the Monsters to trample it underfoot.

Once Batman frees Godzilla from the League's influence, they team-up to fight Destoroyah, a giant monster created when the nuclear bomb that exploded in Gotham Harbor at the end of Dark Knight Rises mutated a colony of Precambrian crustaceans there, causing them to grow to 2 meters in size and eventually merge into one enormous, nearly unstoppable juggernaut. In the final battle, Batman and Godzilla must sacrifice their lives to defeat Destoroyah, and pass the mantle of protecting Gotham City down to Robin John Blake and Godzilla Jr. (although the franchise is rebooted again before either of them gets to star in their own movie).

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Petco Krite Food

It's a relief to finally be able to purchase bagged food for all my pets. No longer will have they have to subsist on neighborhood children, mail carriers, and Jehovah's Witnesses. I really don't think they were getting all the vitamins and minerals they needed for a healthy and balanced diet.

But I pity any squirrel that tries to forage out of their food bowls.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


As a child of the seventies, I grew up watching Batman reruns and Godzilla Saturday matinees on television, but even with my fervent imagination I never dreamed of a crossover between the two. The studios that held the rights to the characters, on the other hand, considered that very thing back before I was even born, each of them envisioning the combo as a sequel to their own successful sixties-era movies.

Toho Studios, following the financial success of 1962's King Kong vs. Godzilla, was eager to pit their giant radioactive dinosaur against another American icon, and set their sights on the Caped Crusader. So in 1965, Godzilla series screenwriter Shinichi Sekizawa wrote a proposal for Batman vs. Godzilla.

If you can identify the artist, I'd like to give them credit.

Similarly, William Dozier, the executive producer and narrator of the Batman TV series ("Same Bat-Time, Same Bat-Channel!"), considered following up the successful 1966 Batman movie with a sequel called Batman Meets Godzilla (in which I can only assume the Dark Knight fares better than Bambi did).

Why did neither of these projects advance beyond the planning stages, when apparently both sides were interested in making this blockbuster team-up happen? I have no idea, but ever since I read about them, I've felt as though a key part of me is missing. Holy missed opportunities, Batman!

There aren't a lot of details on Batman Meets Godzilla, the American movie that would've served as a sequel to Batman (1966). In the plot summary, Barbara Gordon (a.k.a. Batgirl) accompanies her stepfather, Gotham City's Commissioner Gordon, on his vacation in Tokyo. When Godzilla attacks the city, it's up to Batman to save the day.

Would Batman have had enough gadgets in his utility belt to handle Godzilla? Or would he have loaded up all the contents of the Batcave and had them shipped to Japan for his battle with the Big G, like the time Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson spent 3 episodes relocated to Londinium, where Alfred set them up in a rented manor house with a secret dungeon conveniently located beneath it?

Of course a makeshift Batcave beneath Tokyo would bring its own risks and/or rewards. You never know what you'll find in a cavern under Japan in a giant monster movie. Aliens? Robots? Giant insects? Perhaps a Neosaurus egg they can zap with radium in order to hatch it, allowing them to send the Neosaurus to fight Godzilla? Just a thought.

Either way, it probably wouldn't have mattered. Odds are Batgirl would have had Godzilla eating out of the palm of her hand by the time Batman and Robin arrived in Japan anyway.

Toho's plans for their sequel to King Kong vs. Godzilla were a little more in-depth...

When a supervillain threatens the world with a pair of doomsday devices -- one for controlling the weather, the other for controlling Godzilla -- Batman, Robin, and Batgirl combat the rampaging monster in their array of vehicles, including the Batmobile, the Batcopter, the Batboat, and the Batcycle.

"Whale Repellent? I said Gorilla-Whale Repellent, chum! You see Robin, in Godzilla's homeland of Japan he's known as Gojira, a portmanteau of the Japanese words for gorilla and whale, gorira and kujira..."

Seriously folks, how awesome would this have been? Just close your eyes, conjure Adam West's voice in your mind, and picture Batman discussing the threat Godzilla poses to Gotham City with Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara.

Then just imagine the technicolor clash of the campy titans. It would have been epic! Dare I say it? "Best. Movie. Ever." Many internet commenters are of the opinion that Batman would be hopelessly outmatched in such a face-off, but I disagree. You're talking about a guy who built a nuclear reactor in the cave under his mansion (hey, maybe the Atomic Pile is what draws Godzilla to Gotham City in the first place). I have complete faith in his ability to create high-tech weapons and defensive systems every bit as effective as those of the Japan Self Defense Forces.

Besides, the goal isn't to kill the misunderstood monster (which is nearly impossible anyway), just to drive him back into the ocean so that he'll stop stomping on your city.

And I can only assume that once the villain's hold over Godzilla was broken, Batman vs. Godzilla would follow the tradition of all great crossovers and end with the King of the Monsters teaming up with the World's Greatest Detective to defeat their common enemy. 

Hey, you know who would've made a good supervillain for this movie? Dr. Hu, the mastermind who created Mechani-Kong in King Kong Escapes. He and Batman could've engaged in competitive scenery chewing.

But enough dwelling on what might have been. Let us now turn our attention to what still could be, based upon the awesome announcement DC Comics made last month. That's right: Batman '66!

If you haven't heard, DC will be publishing a comic book set in the universe of the '60s TV show, written by Jeff Parker with art by Jonathan Case (who does awesome likenesses of all the actors from the series, as you can see below).

IDW Publishing, on the other hand, just announced a new ongoing Godzilla comic book series called Godzilla: Rulers of Earth, designed to accommodate their ever-growing roster of Toho movie monster licenses. It follows the previous Godzilla ongoing series and the miniseries Godzilla Legends, Kingdom of Monsters, Gangsters and Goliaths, and Half-Century War.

While Kingdom of Monsters and the 2 regular Godzilla series share the same continuity, the other mini-series all take place in their own universes with their own unique histories of monster attacks, so obviously IDW is not opposed to variety and risk-taking in their story lines.

Furthermore, DC and IDW already have a history of crossovers and collaborations. Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes was released in 2011, The Rocketeer/Spirit: Pulp Friction crossover begins in July 2013, and it's been announced that IDW will be reprinting classic DC comic strips.

Clearly the time is ripe for DC and IDW to publish a BATMAN vs. GODZILLA comic book! And not just any sort of comic, but a tabloid-sized Treasury Edition, like all the greatest crossover bouts from my childhood, like Superman vs. Muhammad Ali, Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man, and Batman vs. the Incredible Hulk! Might as well go all the way, right?

Come on DC and IDW, you need to make this happen. It's not just the RIGHT thing to do, it's the AWESOME thing. Don't make me start a petition or something. Just take my money!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


When Christopher Elam posted this awesome promo image of GIGAN on his OWARI blog -- a picture which, you'll note, is labeled "King Kong" -- it started a Twitter conversation about the odd naming conventions of monster movies in various countries around the world.

For example, in Germany "Godzilla vs. Megalon" was apparently released as KING KONG - DÄMONEN AUS DEM WELTALL ("King Kong: Demons From Space"!)...

...and "Terror of Mechagodzilla" somehow became KONGA, GODZILLA, KING KONG - DIE BRUT DES TEUFELS ("Konga, Godzilla, & King Kong: The Brood of the Devil")...

Man, that's TWO giant apes that aren't actually in this movie! (You may recall I kicked this blog off with a review of Konga).

And then I found this on eBay:
So here we have what is presumably a poster promoting the Italian release of "Gamera vs. Guiron" that has been retitled "King Kong Contro Godzilla" ("Contro" is Italian for "against"). The poster clearly depicts our giant turtle pal Gamera, but what the hell is that shaggy beast with the long fingernails posing as Kong?
The poster for MST3K's take on "Gamera vs. Guiron." Note Guiron's complete failure to look like a gorilla.

 At first I thought he might be the star of such giant gorilla movies as "The Mighty Peking Man" or "A*P*E", but a quick Google search showed no real resemblance...

So I began to do searches on every giant ape movie title I could find, and then branched out into movies about apemen, Bigfoot, the Yeti, and even Dr. Jekyll's Mr. Hyde, but to no avail. Christopher didn't have any luck either, but between the two of us, our search did turn up three more "King Kong Contro Godzilla" poster designs:

The first one depicts our mystery ape-thing, Gamera, Guiron, and Ghidorah! Three big G's, but still no Godzilla.

The second one leaves out Gamera and Guiron altogether, instead giving us Godzilla, Ghidorah, Mothra, Rodan, a flying saucer, and finally, as Christopher described it: "Don't forget the Upset Italian(?) Guy in the corner!" (I feel like I should recognize the upset corner guy, but like the ersatz-Kong, I have no idea from where).

And the third... well... you can see that one for yourself. I like that all of them list "Terence Flasch" as the director. He appears to be an imaginary person that the Italians also credited with directing "The Little Norse Prince," which they of course released as something like "The Great Adventure of Little Prince Valiant." Italians must be compulsive name-droppers. "Yeah, Prince Valiant is in this movie. He fights Frankenstein and Caligula."

In the end I'm no closer to determining the identity of the vaguely gorilla-like monster in the posters, but I have come to the conclusion that I desperately want to see "King Kong Contro Godzilla"! Come on, a massive battle between King Kong, Godzilla, Gamera, Guiron, Ghidorah, Rodan, Mothra, alien invaders, and various indeterminate monsters that fly and breathe fire, all while New York City burns? How could this not be the Best. Movie. Ever? I like to believe that in some parallel universe it actually exists. Probably the same universe that Terence Flasch is from.

A Special Thanks to Christopher Elam for his time wasted help on this mystery! And of course, if anyone out there can help identify the giant hairy monster or the upset human in these posters, please post in the comments!

I'll conclude with a final "King Kong Contro Godzilla" poster design which I discovered while compiling this blog post. This one is fairly accurate, considering that the movie it's supposed to be promoting is actually "Gamera vs. Guiron."

It's still directed by that Flasch guy, though.