BATMAN vs. GODZILLA

As a child of the seventies, I grew up watching Batman reruns and Godzilla Saturday matinees on television, but even with my fervent imagination I never dreamed of a crossover between the two. The studios that held the rights to the characters, on the other hand, considered that very thing back before I was even born, each of them envisioning the combo as a sequel to their own successful sixties-era movies.

Toho Studios, following the financial success of 1962's King Kong vs. Godzilla, was eager to pit their giant radioactive dinosaur against another American icon, and set their sights on the Caped Crusader. So in 1965, Godzilla series screenwriter Shinichi Sekizawa wrote a proposal for Batman vs. Godzilla.

Similarly, William Dozier, the executive producer and narrator of the Batman TV series ("Same Bat-Time, Same Bat-Channel!"), considered following up the successful 1966 Batman movie with a sequel called Batman Meets Godzilla (in which I can only assume the Dark Knight fares better than Bambi did).

Why did neither of these projects advance beyond the planning stages, when apparently both sides were interested in making this blockbuster team-up happen? I have no idea, but ever since I read about them, I've felt as though a key part of me is missing. Holy missed opportunities, Batman!

There aren't a lot of details on Batman Meets Godzilla, the American movie that would've served as a sequel to Batman (1966). In the plot summary, Barbara Gordon (a.k.a. Batgirl) accompanies her stepfather, Gotham City's Commissioner Gordon, on his vacation in Tokyo. When Godzilla attacks the city, it's up to Batman to save the day.

Would Batman have had enough gadgets in his utility belt to handle Godzilla? Or would he have loaded up all the contents of the Batcave and had them shipped to Japan for his battle with the Big G, like the time Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson spent 3 episodes relocated to Londinium, where Alfred set them up in a rented manor house with a secret dungeon conveniently located beneath it?

Of course a makeshift Batcave beneath Tokyo would bring its own risks and/or rewards. You never know what you'll find in a cavern under Japan in a giant monster movie. Aliens? Robots? Giant insects? Perhaps a Neosaurus egg they can zap with radium in order to hatch it, allowing them to send the Neosaurus to fight Godzilla? Just a thought.

Either way, it probably wouldn't have mattered. Odds are Batgirl would have had Godzilla eating out of the palm of her hand by the time Batman and Robin arrived in Japan anyway.

Toho's plans for their sequel to King Kong vs. Godzilla were a little more in-depth...

When a supervillain threatens the world with a pair of doomsday devices -- one for controlling the weather, the other for controlling Godzilla -- Batman, Robin, and Batgirl combat the rampaging monster in their array of vehicles, including the Batmobile, the Batcopter, the Batboat, and the Batcycle.

"Whale Repellent? I said Gorilla-Whale Repellent, chum! You see Robin, in Godzilla's homeland of Japan he's known as Gojira, a portmanteau of the Japanese words for gorilla and whale, gorira and kujira..."

Seriously folks, how awesome would this have been? Just close your eyes, conjure Adam West's voice in your mind, and picture Batman discussing the threat Godzilla poses to Gotham City with Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara.

Then just imagine the technicolor clash of the campy titans. It would have been epic! Dare I say it? "Best. Movie. Ever." Many internet commenters are of the opinion that Batman would be hopelessly outmatched in such a face-off, but I disagree. You're talking about a guy who built a nuclear reactor in the cave under his mansion (hey, maybe the Atomic Pile is what draws Godzilla to Gotham City in the first place). I have complete faith in his ability to create high-tech weapons and defensive systems every bit as effective as those of the Japan Self Defense Forces.

Besides, the goal isn't to kill the misunderstood monster (which is nearly impossible anyway), just to drive him back into the ocean so that he'll stop stomping on your city.

And I can only assume that once the villain's hold over Godzilla was broken, Batman vs. Godzilla would follow the tradition of all great crossovers and end with the King of the Monsters teaming up with the World's Greatest Detective to defeat their common enemy. 

Hey, you know who would've made a good supervillain for this movie? Dr. Hu, the mastermind who created Mechani-Kong in King Kong Escapes. He and Batman could've engaged in competitive scenery chewing.

But enough dwelling on what might have been. Let us now turn our attention to what still could be, based upon the awesome announcement DC Comics made last month. That's right: Batman '66!

If you haven't heard, DC will be publishing a comic book set in the universe of the '60s TV show, written by Jeff Parker with art by Jonathan Case (who does awesome likenesses of all the actors from the series, as you can see below).

• Watch: Video of writer Jeff Parker discussing Batman 66 at WonderCon
• Comic Book Resources: "Batman '66" Is What The Industry Needs
• Parkerspace: Batman on Route 66
• Newsarama: Jeff Parker Plays it (Mostly) Straight with BATMAN '66

IDW Publishing, on the other hand, just announced a new ongoing Godzilla comic book series called Godzilla: Rulers of Earth, designed to accommodate their ever-growing roster of Toho movie monster licenses. It follows the previous Godzilla ongoing series and the miniseries Godzilla Legends, Kingdom of Monsters, Gangsters and Goliaths, and Half-Century War.

While Kingdom of Monsters and the 2 regular Godzilla series share the same continuity, the other mini-series all take place in their own universes with their own unique histories of monster attacks, so obviously IDW is not opposed to variety and risk-taking in their story lines.

Furthermore, DC and IDW already have a history of crossovers and collaborations. Star Trek/Legion of Superheroes was released in 2011, The Rocketeer/Spirit: Pulp Friction crossover begins in July 2013, and it's been announced that IDW will be reprinting classic DC comic strips.

Clearly the time is ripe for DC and IDW to publish a BATMAN vs. GODZILLA comic book! And not just any sort of comic, but a tabloid-sized Treasury Edition, like all the greatest crossover bouts from my childhood, like Superman vs. Muhammad Ali, Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man, and Batman vs. the Incredible Hulk! Might as well go all the way, right?

Come on DC and IDW, you need to make this happen. It's not just the RIGHT thing to do, it's the AWESOME thing. Don't make me start a petition or something. Just take my money!

KING KONG CONTRO GODZILLA!

When Christopher Elam posted this awesome promo image of GIGAN on his OWARI blog -- a picture which, you'll note, is labeled "King Kong" -- it started a Twitter conversation about the odd naming conventions of monster movies in various countries around the world.

For example, in Germany "Godzilla vs. Megalon" was apparently released as KING KONG - DÄMONEN AUS DEM WELTALL ("King Kong: Demons From Space"!)...

...and "Terror of Mechagodzilla" somehow became KONGA, GODZILLA, KING KONG - DIE BRUT DES TEUFELS ("Konga, Godzilla, & King Kong: The Brood of the Devil")...

Man, that's TWO giant apes that aren't actually in this movie! (You may recall I kicked this blog off with a review of Konga).

And then I found this on eBay:

So here we have what is presumably a poster promoting the Italian release of "Gamera vs. Guiron" that has been retitled "King Kong Contro Godzilla" ("Contro" is Italian for "against"). The poster clearly depicts our giant turtle pal Gamera, but what the hell is that shaggy beast with the long fingernails posing as Kong?

The poster for MST3K's take on "Gamera vs. Guiron." Note Guiron's complete failure to look like a gorilla.

 At first I thought he might be the star of such giant gorilla movies as "The Mighty Peking Man" or "A*P*E", but a quick Google search showed no real resemblance...

So I began to do searches on every giant ape movie title I could find, and then branched out into movies about apemen, Bigfoot, the Yeti, and even Dr. Jekyll's Mr. Hyde, but to no avail. Christopher didn't have any luck either, but between the two of us, our search did turn up three more "King Kong Contro Godzilla" poster designs:

The first one depicts our mystery ape-thing, Gamera, Guiron, and Ghidorah! Three big G's, but still no Godzilla.

The second one leaves out Gamera and Guiron altogether, instead giving us Godzilla, Ghidorah, Mothra, Rodan, a flying saucer, and finally, as Christopher described it: "Don't forget the Upset Italian(?) Guy in the corner!" (I feel like I should recognize the upset corner guy, but like the ersatz-Kong, I have no idea from where).

And the third... well... you can see that one for yourself. I like that all of them list "Terence Flasch" as the director. He appears to be an imaginary person that the Italians also credited with directing "The Little Norse Prince," which they of course released as something like "The Great Adventure of Little Prince Valiant." Italians must be compulsive name-droppers. "Yeah, Prince Valiant is in this movie. He fights Frankenstein and Caligula."

In the end I'm no closer to determining the identity of the vaguely gorilla-like monster in the posters, but I have come to the conclusion that I desperately want to see "King Kong Contro Godzilla"! Come on, a massive battle between King Kong, Godzilla, Gamera, Guiron, Ghidorah, Rodan, Mothra, alien invaders, and various indeterminate monsters that fly and breathe fire, all while New York City burns? How could this not be the Best. Movie. Ever? I like to believe that in some parallel universe it actually exists. Probably the same universe that Terence Flasch is from.

A Special Thanks to Christopher Elam for his time wasted help on this mystery! And of course, if anyone out there can help identify the giant hairy monster or the upset human in these posters, please post in the comments!

I'll conclude with a final "King Kong Contro Godzilla" poster design which I discovered while compiling this blog post. This one is fairly accurate, considering that the movie it's supposed to be promoting is actually "Gamera vs. Guiron."

It's still directed by that Flasch guy, though.

Muppet Labs' Mechani-Kong Revisited

Yesterday I blogged about the Muppet Labs' Gorilla Detector, and the confusion that the toy version of it brought me.

But today I found myself wondering if perhaps the REAL question should be: How did Dr. Bunsen Honeydew get his hands on the severed head of Mechani-Kong in the first place?!?

Is it possible that he is, in fact, in league with the evil genius Dr. Hu, Mechani-Kong's creator? Muppet Labs always struck me as an awfully shady operation. This would explain a lot.

Muppet Labs' Mechani-Kong

So when I was sorting through the odds 'n' ends I acquired in the Bucket o' Godzillas I purchased from the antique store, I really thought I had the severed head of Mechani-Kong.

Mechani-Kong is of course the giant robotic gorilla from the movie King Kong Escapes:

And this is the toy component in question:

However, no amount of Googling would turn up a toy Mechani-Kong with a head that looked like this. Here are a couple of examples:

Finally I stumbled upon this discussion thread, which included a picture of a customized action figure that someone had created by mounting this head onto the body of Iron Monger, the villain from the first Iron Man movie:

Thankfully, the discussion itself also solved the mystery. This was NOT the severed head of Mechani-Kong, but rather the Muppet Labs Gorilla Detector:

Not sure how I missed that episode of The Muppet Show, but here is the relevant clip:

So now my desk is as safe from gorillas as Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's Muppet technology can make it...

Update: Muppet Labs' Mechani-Kong Revisited

Kingdom of Monsters: Godzilla, Lady Gaga, and the Giant Armadillo of Texas

Americans have short attention spans and bad memories, so it's hardly surprising that when Godzilla reawakened in Japan last year -- after lying dormant for a nearly a decade -- most acted as though they'd never seen a giant monster before. It also stands to reason that the first nonfiction book to cover the subsequent events, Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters by American author Eric Powell, would neglect to place the sudden return of a half-dozen kaiju into its proper historical context.

Historically speaking, this never ends well.

Nevertheless, Powell does an excellent job of recounting humanity's response to this crisis, from opportunistic Republicans' typical attempts to place all of the blame on President Obama, to the underestimation of the monsters' might by military forces the world over, to the personal tolls taken on families caught in the inexorable paths of these great beasts.

Yet the book's tight focus on the events of 2011, separated from the rich history of these monsters that have plagued mankind since the first appearance of Godzilla in 1954, weakens the narrative's overall perspective and impact. This article will attempt to fill in the gaps by exploring some of the details that were left out of Kingdom of Monsters' final draft.

1. Anguirus

 

It should have been no surprise when Anguirus, the second monster to burst back onto the scene in 2011, emerged from the ground in Mexico and headed for the Texas border. This 60,000-ton, fully-grown adult kaiju had been in Texas before, back in the late '70s and early '80s, when he was still a mere twelve-ton pup. The Texans didn't know his name back then, but simply referred to this scourge of the Lone Star Brewing Company as the Giant Armadillo.

Old photo and newspaper clipping from the kaiju files.

The monster was never caught on camera back then, but its targeting of Lone Star beer trucks and establishments selling Lone Star became so infamous that the beverage company eventually incorporated it into their advertising:

After thirty years of hibernation south of the border Anguirus woke up thirsty, and lost no time returning to what he remembered as the land of free beer.

Anguirus intercepts a Lone Star beer truck.

Once he'd drained every drop of Lone Star beer from all the convenience stores, diners, and delivery vehicles near the border of Mexico, Anguirus plowed through San Antonio before heading out to Los Angeles for a drunken brawl with Godzilla.

Because that's just how he rolls.

2. Lady Gaga

 

Kingdom of Monsters depicts "Mother Monster" Lady Gaga following up a live performance on MTV with an impassioned defense of the destructive kaiju and promoting her charity that advocates for giant monster rights. But it fails to mention that the event she was performing at was the 2011 MTV Video Music Aid Japan, which benefited the Japanese Red Cross, or that her "Pray for Japan" bracelets raised money for all the Japanese "Little Monsters" displaced by Godzilla's attack on the country.

Lady Gaga makes a gesture of monster solidarity.

Nor does the book take into account the human race's "shoot first, ask questions later" history of dealing with giant monsters, such as the 1976 incident with King Kong in New York City.

A typical poster for Lady Gaga's charity MEALS.

Miki Saegusa, a spokesperson for MEALS, is quick to point out our dismal record of dealing with these unique beings, and that any one-of-a-kind creature is by definition the ultimate endangered species. That is what Lady Gaga was trying to explain, she insists, when the pop star was talking about Anguirus' victims on MTV.

"Look, it's horrible what's happening to those people, but that's nature," Lady Gaga can be heard saying in the clip that is replayed endlessly on Fox News. "For the greater good, Texas should be destroyed." Though the entertainer has been widely criticized for her stance, most people polled admit that they wouldn't have batted an eye if she'd said the same thing about Arizona instead.

Human behavior has even been known to drive some monsters to suicide. Riddled with despair, Rodan chose to plunge into an active volcano rather than have to deal with humanity's shit.

And who could blame him, really?

"We should be putting our efforts into saving the kaiju, not destroying them," continues Miki Saegusa. "It's unfair to lump them all into one homogenous group and assume that every one of them is out to destroy everything in its path. Peaceful coexistence with giant monsters is within the realm of possibility."

And that's not even taking into account "Friend to All Children" Gamera,
 or "Saves Orphans from Burning Buildings" Mighty Joe Young.

In her interview on 60 Minutes, Lady Gaga explained that her biggest pet peeve is the hypocrisy surrounding the issue of giant monsters. "Everyone's always looking for a way to destroy Godzilla once and for all," she told Anderson Cooper. "Until alien invaders or a monster from space shows up, and then they're all, 'Godzilla, save us!' Hypocrites."

3. Godzilla, King of the Monsters

MEALS would like to see all of the government's effort and funding, currently dedicated to developing weapons of mass destruction capable of destroying the kaiju, redirected to a rehabilitation program.

Godzilla exhibiting bad behavior.

They believe that the monsters' enormous size alienates them from most life on Earth, leaving them without any direction, meaning, or purpose in their lives. All they know is violence and destruction, and they take out their frustrations by lashing out at our cities and each other.

"It's not their fault that they're born this way," Gaga told 60 Minutes. "We just need to divert their aggression and limitless energy to more social activities, like sports."

Even the most terrible and feared of the bunch, Godzilla, King of the Monsters, has shown that he isn't beyond rehabilitation.

"Back in the 1990s, when President Clinton was supporting federal programs like Midnight Basketball, the government teamed with Nike to channel Godzilla's unbridled power and competitive nature into shooting hoops," explains MEALS board member Carl Majors. "A magically-enlarged Charles Barkley was able to preempt one of Godzilla's attacks by challenging him to a pick-up game. They were then able to keep him occupied in the Grand Canyon for an extended period of time, practicing layups on a specially-designed goal."

Godzilla and Barkley in happier times.

Majors insists the Godzilla Basketball program was a great success, and that something similar could be implemented now if the government weren't focused solely on military options. Involving kaiju in sports activities not only saves their lives, but the lives of civilians who otherwise become collateral damage when the military gets involved. He cites such examples as the gas attacks against Anguirus and Rodan that backfired in Los Angeles and Germany, respectively, and of course the MechaGodzilla debacle.

Majors says that MEALS approves of synergy between the government and business when it's a corporation like Nike developing sports goggles and athletic shoes for kaiju, but when you get the military-industrial complex involved, it's a recipe for disaster. Such was the case when President Obama approved the construction of MechaGodzilla in Detroit.

President Obama unveils Operation Two Birds One Stone, designed to kill Godzilla and get the US economy back on track in one fell swoop. "After it destroys Godzilla, we're going to program it with all the terrorists' names from the drone kill list."

"As you know, that plan proved disastrous when MechaGodzilla malfunctioned in his first confrontation with Godzilla and proceeded to destroy Atlanta, Georgia."

Thereby winning a decisive victory for Pepsi in the Cola Wars.

Other monster advocates aren't so diplomatic, describing kaiju as the antibodies nature has produced to wipe out humanity, which they consider to be a cancer with a malignant impact on the Earth. Others are less harsh, claiming the giant beasts are merely nature's way of thinning out the human herd a bit in the face of overpopulation. They even say that ultimately the giant monster attacks will have a positive effect on the human race, helping to eliminate some of our worst excesses. As evidence they cite the disproportionate number of reality television stars killed by monsters so far, such as the entire cast of Jersey Shore.

Of course the loss of one of the world's great grunge bands undermines that theory.

Ultimately the book raises more questions than it answers, such as "Where did the monsters come from?" and "Where did they all go?" But for now we have plenty to ponder as we work to rebuild what is left of civilization.

At least until the monsters return again.

King Kong Home Theater Custom Furniture Art

Tom Spina Designs

I really need this setup for the Monster Hatch.

Check out more pics and video of the project here: King Kong Themed Home Theater Furniture