Happy Easter from MechaGodzilla Jr.

KING KONG CONTRO GODZILLA!

When Christopher Elam posted this awesome promo image of GIGAN on his OWARI blog -- a picture which, you'll note, is labeled "King Kong" -- it started a Twitter conversation about the odd naming conventions of monster movies in various countries around the world.

For example, in Germany "Godzilla vs. Megalon" was apparently released as KING KONG - DÄMONEN AUS DEM WELTALL ("King Kong: Demons From Space"!)...

...and "Terror of Mechagodzilla" somehow became KONGA, GODZILLA, KING KONG - DIE BRUT DES TEUFELS ("Konga, Godzilla, & King Kong: The Brood of the Devil")...

Man, that's TWO giant apes that aren't actually in this movie! (You may recall I kicked this blog off with a review of Konga).

And then I found this on eBay:

So here we have what is presumably a poster promoting the Italian release of "Gamera vs. Guiron" that has been retitled "King Kong Contro Godzilla" ("Contro" is Italian for "against"). The poster clearly depicts our giant turtle pal Gamera, but what the hell is that shaggy beast with the long fingernails posing as Kong?

The poster for MST3K's take on "Gamera vs. Guiron." Note Guiron's complete failure to look like a gorilla.

 At first I thought he might be the star of such giant gorilla movies as "The Mighty Peking Man" or "A*P*E", but a quick Google search showed no real resemblance...

So I began to do searches on every giant ape movie title I could find, and then branched out into movies about apemen, Bigfoot, the Yeti, and even Dr. Jekyll's Mr. Hyde, but to no avail. Christopher didn't have any luck either, but between the two of us, our search did turn up three more "King Kong Contro Godzilla" poster designs:

The first one depicts our mystery ape-thing, Gamera, Guiron, and Ghidorah! Three big G's, but still no Godzilla.

The second one leaves out Gamera and Guiron altogether, instead giving us Godzilla, Ghidorah, Mothra, Rodan, a flying saucer, and finally, as Christopher described it: "Don't forget the Upset Italian(?) Guy in the corner!" (I feel like I should recognize the upset corner guy, but like the ersatz-Kong, I have no idea from where).

And the third... well... you can see that one for yourself. I like that all of them list "Terence Flasch" as the director. He appears to be an imaginary person that the Italians also credited with directing "The Little Norse Prince," which they of course released as something like "The Great Adventure of Little Prince Valiant." Italians must be compulsive name-droppers. "Yeah, Prince Valiant is in this movie. He fights Frankenstein and Caligula."

In the end I'm no closer to determining the identity of the vaguely gorilla-like monster in the posters, but I have come to the conclusion that I desperately want to see "King Kong Contro Godzilla"! Come on, a massive battle between King Kong, Godzilla, Gamera, Guiron, Ghidorah, Rodan, Mothra, alien invaders, and various indeterminate monsters that fly and breathe fire, all while New York City burns? How could this not be the Best. Movie. Ever? I like to believe that in some parallel universe it actually exists. Probably the same universe that Terence Flasch is from.

A Special Thanks to Christopher Elam for his time wasted help on this mystery! And of course, if anyone out there can help identify the giant hairy monster or the upset human in these posters, please post in the comments!

I'll conclude with a final "King Kong Contro Godzilla" poster design which I discovered while compiling this blog post. This one is fairly accurate, considering that the movie it's supposed to be promoting is actually "Gamera vs. Guiron."

It's still directed by that Flasch guy, though.

Christmas on Monster Island

So I spent this morning in a meeting and returned to find that office elves had decorated my cubicle for Christmas. I really need one of those turrets from Portal to guard my workspace from coworkers. That's twice this week I've been vandalized.

How tall is Mole Man's tree if Giganto has to hang the ornaments on it?

My "Grinch on a Cubicle" beats your "Elf on a Shelf"

Mechagodzilla Jr. prepares to escort Santa's sleigh through heavy resistance

It's just not the holidays without zombies

Jurassic Ark

So I sent this email to a few coworkers yesterday:

Check out these actual pages from a Louisiana science textbook:

Here Is What Louisiana Schoolchildren Learn About Evolution

The part about Noah saving dinosaurs from the Great Flood makes me want to write a screenplay for one of those Christian movies (like Fireproof or Facing the Giants) about the 2 T-Rexes and the 2 Velociraptors wreaking havoc on all the other pairs of animals. The title? “Jurassic Ark.” Writes itself.

And this morning I arrived at work to discover this carnage on my desk, courtesy of my boss:

 

Ah, I love my job. Now I need to dig up the photos of what they did to my cubical wall after I put up the "Post No Bills" sign...

Breaking News: Kaiju Attack

Munchkin Apocalypse

An ad for Munchkin Apocalypse caught my eye this week thanks to the giant Godzilla-style monster shown destroying a city (as they tend to do).

From the World of Munchkin:

Game Design by Steve Jackson * Illustrated by John Kovalic

168 regular cards, 12 square Seal cards, a unique six-sided die, and a rulesheet.
Suggested Retail Price $24.95 * Stock #1503 * UPC 837654321560. In Production.

It's the end of the world!

In Munchkin Apocalypse, every possible natural (and unnatural) disaster has happened... or will happen during the game. You are a rugged survivor in a world full of people – and things – that want to kill you and take your stuff. So do it to them first!

This set introduces four new classes and a new, yet eerily familiar, card type: Disasters!

And what's with all these seals running around? Don't they know the world's about to end? You should really keep an eye on that seventh one in particular . . .

Munchkin Apocalypse will be available in Fall 2012. That should give you a few weeks to play it before the world really ends, at least if the Mayans are right . . .

There's also a +6 Bag o' Radioactive Munchkin d6, which comes with 4 bonus cards:

 And as if that weren't enough, there will be a Mars Attacks! booster:

From Steve Jackson Games:

The Topps Company and Steve Jackson Games announce Munchkin Apocalypse: Mars Attacks, bringing the pulpy sci-fi action of the classic card set into their newest Munchkin core game.

Created by Topps in 1962, MARS ATTACKS is in the midst of a contemporary revival. In addition to celebrating the brand's 50th anniversary, Topps is reintroducing the property through an all-new comic book series from IDW that serves as the launching point of a new MARS ATTACKS universe.

"We've always been huge fans of MARS ATTACKS and it's been a thrill to see it return in such a big way," said Andrew Hackard, Munchkin Brand Manager for Steve Jackson Games. "The brand's outrageous sci-fi action and off-beat, dark humor will play very well within the World of Munchkin and we can't wait to show fans what we've got in store!"

Adds Steve Jackson, "We are going to be completely faithful to the original MARS ATTACKS concepts. We are going to blow things up without reason or mercy or even very good aim. We will continue until the squashy Earthmen force us back to make a last stand on our dying desert home. It's them or us."

Munchkin Apocalypse drops players into the end of the world and challenges them to acquire loot and level up. Its humorous text and cartoon art make it only the latest hit game in the best-selling Munchkin line.

"While it originated as a trading card series, this will be the first time MARS ATTACKS will be seen as a card game," said Adam Levine, Topps' Licensing Manager, "and we can't think of a more perfect world than The World of Munchkin for our Martians to invade."

Munchkin Apocalypse: Mars Attacks will be a 15-card booster for Munchkin Apocalypse, using art from the original 1962 trading cards. It will be in stores in Summer 2013.

So far I've only played the original Munchkin, but I think this is a variant I'll have to pick up. I need to know whether there are cards that allow you to destroy meteors with oil drillers, or outrun freezing temperatures on foot, or wipe out alien motherships with your Apple Powerbook.

A Bug, A Slug, and a DVD

Two more monsters for the stuff on my desk collection arrived yesterday: Megalon, the giant cockroach villain from 1973's Godzilla vs. Megalon, and Namegon, the giant Martian slug from the TV series Ultra Q, the predecessor of Ultraman. The newly-released Godzilla vs. Megalon DVD arrived a couple of weeks ago, because I'm such a nerd I pre-ordered it from amazon.com. I still remember watching it on television when NBC aired it in prime time in 1977, then going to school the next day and reenacting the monster battles on the playground with my friends.

While I've never actually watched any of Ultra Q beyond some clips on YouTube, I added Namegon to my collection because, well, how can you go wrong with a giant slug?

The original Japanese trailer for Godzilla vs. Megalon:

Namegon:

New Monster Hatch Acquisitions

Latest additions to the stuff on my desk collection:

Ultra Monsters Gomess (left) and Jirass (right) attend the first meeting of the League of Substitute Godzillas. (Gomess was created for the TV series Ultra Q, and Jirass for Ultraman, from modified Godzilla costumes.)

These two kaiju both came to Earth from outer space, but couldn't be more different: Seabozu (left), who just wanted to go back to the peacefulness of the Monster Graveyard, and Spacegodzilla, who just wanted to kick Godzilla's ass.

I've finally acquired Giganto the Mole Monster (the big green guy above) to round out my collection of Marvel monsters. This display represents part of Mole Man's kingdom beneath Monster Island, made up mostly of Heroclix figures.

There is (in no particular order) Mole Man, a Moloid, the Mad Thinker and his Awesome Android (a.k.a. Awesome Andy), Bi-Beast, Sasquatch, Man-Thing, Man-Wolf, the Lizard, a Brood warrior, one of the Mindless Ones, Dragon Man, Devil Dinosaur and Moon Boy, and the Hulk. And to drive home that this is a mash-up between the Monster Island of the Marvel Comics Universe and the Monster Island of the Godzilla movies, there is also a Destoroyah creature out front, and a Baltan alien (from the Ultraman universe) hiding in the back. The gorilla ripping open his cage door is from Horrorclix and is there because he reminded me of Konga. And the 2 human females are Elsa Bloodstone (daughter of the monster hunter Ulysses Bloodstone) and her Nextwave team member Monica Rambeaux (formerly Captain Marvel, Photon, and Pulsar of the Avengers).

Like the rest of my Monster Island collection, I'm still adding to this one, but now that Giganto is in place, I felt like it was time to post a picture.

Giganto is of historical importance to the Marvel Universe because he was on the cover of Fantastic Four #1, reproduced for the FF Omnibus below:

And here is his first appearance immortalized by Alex Ross:

 A Giganto by Art Adams:

And my current desktop wallpaper:

So here is the layout, with the subterranean area of Monster Island on the left, the surface of Monster Island in the center, and NYC on the right:

And that's your Monster Hatch update.

Know Who Else Talked to Chairs?

Here you go: I created this template so that everyone can design their own Twisted Toyfare Theatre cover commemorating Clint Eastwood's historic conversation with a chair at the 2012 Republican National Convention. Just add word balloons!

If you post yours on Twitter, please include the #TwistedToyfare and #Eastwooding hashtags. Enjoy!

(For those that are unfamiliar with Wizard Magazine's Twisted Toyfare Theatre, it was the precursor to Adult Swim's Robot Chicken, and consists of comic strips made from posed Mego action figures.)

And considering the topic of today's blog post, for some reason I find it highly amusing that the only Clint Eastwood action figure I could find on the internet is for "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly."

Also, I'm just going to leave this here as the last piece of the puzzle:

Behold the Kuratas Mecha

This is why I love Japan. While Americans stockpile handheld weapons and survival gear for the zombie apocalypse, the Japanese are preparing for the REAL threat: giant radioactive monsters.

Kuratas is a 12' 5" tall, nearly 10,000 pound, fully-functional Mecha built by Suidobashi Heavy Industry at a cost of 1.4 million dollars. It can be controlled from within its one-man cockpit or remotely from a 3G smartphone. It fires both rockets and 6000 rounds of ammo/minute.

More details about the debut of Kuratas at WonderFest 2012 here and here. These guys are definitely ready for Godzilla Wednesdays: